Musings about adverts

MAY 2012 - ADVERTS DRIVE ME GRRRY


So my plan to write regularly to keep things building up in my head totally failed, then I realised I was waiting for something to happen to provide inspiration to make me want to write again.

Adverts in the United States of America are crazy, I don't really see adverts back home as I don't watch much normal TV.  I caught an advert trying to sell some product to aid weightloss and it's final line was "Being thin is great", no wonder some people have an issue with their body image when they are bombarded day and night with both images of airbrushed perfect people and lines like that during adverts.


People who work in advertising/marketing only have one agenda which is to make people buy more shit that they don't need.  I don't get how advertising works, I realize half of it is to inform people about certain products being out on the market but the amount of lies they tell in adverts is astounding such as Lynx with the offer that if you wear it you will become irresistible to the opposite sex, don't get me wrong I understand the appeal of that but its horseshit. Or adverts for cars which suggest you will be luckier in your love life which seems to be the focus of a lot of adverts, and seriously who takes their partner to McDonald's for "make up coffee", get some fucking class in your life if you are one of those people, or maybe your ex/soon to be ex- partner just wants a McDonald's breakfast and wants you to pay.

I hadn't really forgotten the amount of adverts that get thrown at you in the USA but how do they sit and watch so many adverts during a 22 minute program stretched to 30 minutes with adverts....8 minutes of adverts and then you get in the car and the billboards....oh the billboards especially the ones pushing political agendas such as the anti-abortion ones which in Florida are seemingly everywhere.

Another phenomena we don't have in England, although I may be wrong in this respect is the sheer amount of adverts they have in the USA for restaurants/fast food places, it's mind-boggling, it really is.  "eat here, no eat here, use this coupon and get this free, buy this one meal and get 5 kiddies meals free we know you don't have 5 children but we are preying on the fact you're a fat lazy dumbass who will think it's a bargain!" .  


Also free refills, that's what a nation with an obesity crisis needs! easier free access to sugar and sweeteners, the waitresses look at you like you're mental when you turn down a 3rd drink, granted most of the drink is fucking ice! Oh the ice! So much ice!! That's probably why they can do the free refills, anyone agree? I remember playing Theme Park and cranking up the amount of ice you put into the drinks to ensure that one drink does not quench the thirst!

We live in such a consumer capitalist society in the US and Britain that I can't see things getting better in turns of consumption and people only buying what they actually need which if were to happen would decrease the pressure on the rapidly depleting world's natural resources. Just saying ya know? New ways of thinking have to be approached 

Grammar, punctuation and the general misuse of language

As stated in a previous writing this is a place for me to get stuff out of my head, and that is coming but it will come with a massive warning before you get into the main text about what you’re going to be reading; so for now rest easy and get yourself a drink, actually first get yourself a drink and then rest easy also maybe treat yourself to a nice tasty biscuit, and I will sit here with my glass of water unable to have anything tasty because of my knackered gall bladder.

So previously (in vain hope I claim that) stated I am going to attempt to have a theme within each entry, the last one being sponges/greed and the first I guess was talent/success (well actually it was a diatribe against X Factor and other shows regarding talent).  This first bit is getting all the rubbish out of my head first (and in all honesty is not a necessary read unless of course you are already hanging on what I come out with my words. 

This writing is about words, see what I did there (I’m a funking genius!) and the misuse of words, sayings and other various things which I have noticed by people either on Facebook, famous people or other things which my radar has indicated is wrong.  I will be the first to admit that I do misuse words, and , ay it wrong.  Those of you reading this should know I have issues with language and grammar and it’s misuse, first example of this; the misuse of “their”, “there” and “they’re” along with “you’re” and “your”.  Seriously how difficult is this to get wrong, and don’t cheat by using “UR” or “u r”, this is lazy and as far as I’m concerned not particularly acceptable in a text message, and it’s really fucking lazy when it is on MSN Messenger or in an email/message. You change the context of what’s being said, and as we all know  (all smart people anyway, if this offends and you are an misusing offender of words, well I’m impressed that you have read this far!) context is one of the hardest things to establish on the internet or via a text message.  I realise that some of this is an age thing, but when some of the people who consistently do this are older or a similar age to me, it makes me think this is not an age thing, but either a laze thing or just that you’re a bit thick and you wonder what the bright yellow thing in the sky is. 

Phew, wow that just flowed out of my fingers; I really must have needed to get that out there.  Anyway, there is more to come so do you need another biscuit for dunking?  What’s your choice of dunkable biscuit?  I used to like dunk custard creams, tasty.  I was watching The Idiot Box a while ago and there was a sportsperson on tv who said that when their likeness was revealed to them that it “literally blew them away” so here comes my next gripe, the abandon which people use  “literally” with.  If you look up the synonyms of this you get; factually, exactly, accurately and plainly.  So unless this person was actually blown away by a big gust of wind that come through, and I am hazarding  a guess that this was not the case and she simply meant she was “blow away”, and why she felt the need to add “literally” in there is anyone’s guess, answers on a double sided postcard.  I never really understood double sided postcards when I was younger, how did the postman know which side to send as you had to put your name and address on it as well.  Anyone else have this trouble? I went to university with someone who believed that Double Sided Sticky Tape, the most famous of accessories that Blue Peter used to create things, was purely made for Blue Peter and did not exist outside of Blue Peter.  This now sounds like a good lie to spread if you wish to make people seem foolish in front of others.

Finally, (the crowd screams noooo, we want more shite to push out the shite in our head already there) the people who I have noticed who offend the most when speaking are football players, commentators  and managers, everything seems to happen at the end of the day, and come out with dazzling statements such as “goals win matches” and live in the glorious place of “if” where everything hinges on “if” occurring. 

 (Disclaimer) I take no responsibility for any glaring grammatical issues which appear throughout, or for the overuse of "misuse" in paragraph 3.