So where to start; with the negative to get it out with and then move onto the positives or just let it flow as it should? This may be one of my most unstructured posts to date but I am sat with my fingers itching to get out what is inside and not let it build up inside.
The weekend just gone I finally made it down to Basingstoke to swap stuff with an ex-girlfriend and this was a very serious relationship, well to me it was. The relationship ended May 2011, but I was fucked if I was going to spend 3 hours on a train just to spend 2 minutes to pick my stuff up so I was eager to go with a friend. So after a conversation on Friday night after already agreeing to it last year but I wanted to make sure it was cool, I sent a message to my ex to check it was sorted. So down we went, and the swap was made. I had already been left a little confused by her decision to give jewellery back to me which I hadn't asked for, and wouldn't have asked for as it was a gift.
So that was the end of what had together and a new side was showed to me, one I knew she had but hadn't expected it to be turned my way, I could go into more detail but that solves nothing as it is down with now. So that was the Ending as mentioned in the title and it goes hand in hands with New Beginnings and Changes.
My friend and I made our way back to the Midlands but got struck by the snow, fortunately my friend had already asked if we could call in on her mum, and with the snow being bad it was a wise decision which lead to much fun in a new place :-D
Since my gallbladder has come out I have been able to grab so much of my life back and a lot of my old self has returned, the Matty that people, well a person remembered so well from 4 years ago. I have been able to look at myself and can see now how unwell I really was and that the gallbladder had extremely negative affects on me, not just physically but also in my head and that this shit had been going on for far too long. I have for the first time been able to sit back from things and let the little things go without over-analysing things and I am also no longer afraid to ask the questions to which in the past I may have not liked the answer but life moves on, and we cannot control everything within in our lives.
Negative behaviours I have managed to cut out, and be more appreciative of those people who are there for me, not necessarily in person but I love them all the same. Changes are still coming my way and life no longer holds the fear for me. There is stuff about me that people will only know if they have spent significant time with me, or if I have told them about it directly. I also have someone in my life who kicks my arse when it needs a good kick, but who without which life is just that little bit more dull than it has to be.
As for the New Beginnings, well it is the first time since 2008 that I will be celebrating my birthday pain-free, I no longer have serious problems with my back threatening to ruin dancing times, old fears have been faced and new ways learnt of dealing with things which raise themselves up.
So there it is, The Matty has metaphorically undergone a rebirth :-D
