2013 is upon us

So 2013 is here, and today I have written a couple of badly poems which for a change I am going to share on here.  I know I usually have some kind of rant on here....religion, advertising or updating you about what's going on in my life but I am not going to discuss that shit on here, that is private no matter how open I may have become with myself about what is going on in my head, it seems that is the only way to deal with my back problems which I think were largely psychosomatic.  I am still here despite having said my goodbyes to certain people in November, I am sorry if I created anxiety or if I still cause anxiety when I get a certain way but I came through.......so with that in mind

"Lying and praying for something to take the pain away

praying to something I have never believed in to make it go away

an exercise in futility that some mystical words and I'd feel better

some bullshit reasoning to think I could wish it all away

thoughts of pills and drink to wash it all it away

'cause everything inside wanted it's goddamn say
everything wanted it's day

but unconsciousness took me to another place

somewhere to rest a troubled head and weary heart

and I'd like to say images of you saved me

or memories of friends were responsible

but like the times before when sat with a knife, or looking at the sea

the one thing that came to save me was me

my own selfishness that I fail to hide and lie that it's had it's time"

written today 7th January 2013.  

Before writing this one, I wrote this one which started coming to me on my way home, if you know my writings, the "you" is usually not defined as one person and I don't think it is in this one, no-one certainly came to mind whilst writing it and that is not to protect anyone, just the truth.

Stood on the edge of time,
watching all the stars flicker out
as they die one by one

and my memories go racing

back through time
to when I used to sit and
look at the stars in your eyes

and they were all for me
but then I was stood on the edge of

our time together, falling

and all the stars they went out

and a blackness was all I saw
and the bejewelled sea I used to bathe in
had turned dark and unwelcoming
where monsters lurked beneath the surface
and all my fears had were becoming realized

So on the edge of time
I stand and wait
waiting for the rebirth of a new time

to call my own

as life never started with you
and nor shall it end with you"

The next post may be back to me railing against society.

I have read a lot of taoism recently and about embracing change and have not felt this strong or positive for a long time.

Love, Peace, Harmony.